One problem that I have seen chess players have is recovering from a loss in a tournament. They lose a close game, or a game that they should have won, and it affects their future games.
I have seen both children and adults crying, storming out of a room, pouting, withdrawing, yelling, and obsessing about their losses. I know people who have quit chess because they could not handle losing.
I love this parable from Eckhart Tolle, who wrote “The Power of Now”. I think that it contains a very powerful idea that you can use to let go of losses both on and off the board.
Here is a text version of the story as it appears in “A New Earth”:
The inability or rather unwillingness of the human mind to let go of the past is beautifully illustrated in the story of two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, who were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains.
The monks walked on in silence.
supposed to do things like that.”
“I put the girl down hours ago,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”